Reclaiming Vitality as Leadership Capability

We all carry versions of ourselves shaped by expectations, pressures, and past experiences. In leadership — especially in fast-moving, high-stakes environments — it’s easy to drift away from who we truly are. Anyone who looks at us from outside see us as accomplished individuals, yet we feel misaligned on the inside. Our Body reveals the tension long before we can name it — a tightening in the shoulders, a shallow breath, a persistent sense of efforting.

This distance from our “true self”, or “truth”, isn’t a failure; it’s a signal. A quiet invitation to come home. Here are some common patterns many of us may recognize — subtle but powerful ways we move into the “not-self”

• Comparing ourselves to others. Success becomes a race instead of an expression of our unique strengths.

• Harsh self-judgment. We critique ourselves more than we celebrate our growth.

• Absorbing others’ judgments. External evaluations become internal truths, even when they don’t belong to us.

• Borrowing someone else’s identity. Trying to replicate another leader’s style rather than developing our own embodied way of leading.

• Over-pleasing. We shape-shift to be what others need, hoping it brings acceptance or appreciation.

• Feeling different or “other.” We withdraw, or we overwork to fit in — both fueled by disconnection.

• Chronic inadequacy. The belief that we never quite measure up erodes confidence and creativity.

• Overworking for recognition. We push beyond capacity seeking proof of worth.

• Spending enormous energy maintaining this not-self. It becomes exhausting to uphold an identity that isn’t truly ours.

Each of these patterns is understandable. They arise as adaptive responses — our internal AI, so to speak — running outdated algorithms based on old data. But just as intelligent systems need recalibration, so do we.

Returning to who we are is not an intellectual exercise; it is a somatic one. The Body is the most honest feedback system we have.

• What shifts when you breathe more deeply?
• What happens in your posture when you stop comparing?
• How does your intuition speak when you pause long enough to hear it?

Like dance, leadership requires presence, groundedness, and the courage to move with what is real — not what is performed. It asks for relentlessly coming back to our true self, i.e., to honoring our values and doing more of what we love to do.

I know this path well. For me, there came a quiet moment when I felt something essential muted — not broken, but distant. My Body sensed it first: a persistent fatigue, a dimming of joy, a subtle loss of vitality. I intuitively knew I had to do something about it, and this was the invitation back to my true self.

That reconnection with my true self started when I allowed myself — without guilt — to do what I genuinely loved. It began with dance. Then came writing, traveling, and creating space for experiences that felt deeply nourishing. At first, this way of being felt unfamiliar and even uncomfortable. I worried I wasn’t being “dutiful” enough, that choosing joy somehow meant neglecting responsibility.

But I stayed with it. I continued choosing what felt true.

What followed was profound and unexpected. My sense of aliveness returned. Energy replaced exhaustion. Laughter came easily and fully. Even my Body reflected the shift — more lightness, more presence, a visible sense of vitality. When we align with what we love, the Body responds before the mind can explain it.

This is not about abandoning ambition or structure. It’s about integration. Just as in dance, where effort and ease must coexist, leadership thrives when discipline is balanced with aliveness.

In a way it is like updating our internal operating system. Much like AI models trained on outdated data, many of us are still running patterns shaped by old beliefs: I must earn rest. Pleasure requires justification. Joy comes last. When we consciously choose differently, we retrain the system.

An Invitation

This week, ask yourself:

• What activity consistently brings me back into my body and presence?
• Where do I still feel guilt for choosing what nourishes me?
• What would change if I trusted that alivenessis not a distraction, but a leadership asset?

Leadership grounded in truth doesn’t just perform — it resonates. And sometimes, the most powerful transformation begins by allowing ourself to do what we love.