The Leadership Cost of Hiding in “We”

2 minutes read

Early in my career, while finishing my PhD in a specific field of what we call today AI, I received an interview invitation from a major company in the U.S. I should have felt confident. Instead, I felt like an impostor.

To feel safer, I did something subtle but costly: I hid behind the brand I worked for. In the interview, I spoke in “we,” highlighted institutional achievements, and showcased the company’s credibility—rather than my own contribution. For a few hours, I felt confident.

Then the feedback came: “You gave credit to everyone. But where were you in the story?”

That moment changed how I understand leadership.

In leadership — as in dance — partnership matters. Systems matter. Teams matter. But someone still has to step onto the floor in their own their Body. No partner, no algorithm, no organization can replace personal presence.

Impostor syndrome often drives us to borrow authority instead of embodying it. Somatically, this shows up as contraction: a held breath, a tight jaw, a smaller posture. We reference external validation instead of internal grounding.

But organizations — and people — don’t commit to brands alone. They commit to people they see and trust.

Just like AI model training: the output is only as clear as the signal. When we dilute our signal behind collective language and borrowed credibility, decision-makers cannot see our true parameters — our judgment, originality, and ownership.

After this realization, three practices shifted my leadership identity:

1- Knowing Our Unique Contribution

Our work is not interchangeable. Our perspective, pattern recognition, intuition, and lived experience shape how we solve problems. Self-awareness is not indulgence — it is responsibility. Leaders must know what they uniquely bring to the system.

We can ask ourselves: What changes because I am in the room?

2- Owning and Naming Our Work

This is not arrogance — it is clarity. If we don’t articulate our value, others cannot recognize nor trust it. In embodied leadership, voice matters. Naming our contribution is like taking our axis in dance: without it, movement collapses.

We can practice saying: “Here is what I built. Here is what I led. Here is what I learned.”

3- Letting Ourselves Be Seen

Making ourselves small is not humility — it is avoidance. When we stand in our full presence, we give others permission to do the same. Visible leadership creates visible courage in others.

Not getting that job hurt. But it became a turning point. I made a commitment: from then on, I would stand behind my work, in my own name, with grounded pride.

The Invitation

Where might you be hiding behind a title, a team, or a brand — instead of standing in your own leadership presence?

If you’re curious about exploring how to know your contribution and offer it to the world self-confidently — I’d love to hear from you. And I return every email and message I receive from you.